Aversion to Writing

Writing has always been difficult for me. Growing up with dyslexia, school was hard for me, particularly with written language. My learning style for writing was more about forced memorization than how I was instructed. To this day, I completely spell out each word I write in my head, making writing laborious. Changing my effort to slowly chucking out words instead of my thoughts flowing onto the page. On the flip side, the unspoken world of how technical systems come together made sense to me. Ideas, concepts, and systems just snapped into focus with vivid clarity. I often found it frustrating to share my excitement or find people to converse with about these concepts. I would get frustrated and mad at them.
Later, I realized I was frustrated at my inability to articulate these concepts. I still struggle with this today, and I am constantly trying to improve how I converse with people to share my joy in discovering these seemingly invisible connections. So that brings me back to writing. It’s frustratingly slow, and I only sometimes feel like I can express myself. However, the same can be similar when speaking, although it has less friction. This is precisely why I’ve decided to write more. I aim to improve my writing by putting this out in the world. I know these posts/stories will be rough around the edges initially, but I hope they will become more articulate and eloquent with time. The only way I’ve ever been able to get better at something is by being open to being wrong, vulnerable, and open to improvement. This will be a journey, but I want to improve. Because I’ll see the ripple of improvement throughout my other endeavors.